i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
