no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
