yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
