Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
