Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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