Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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