she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
