Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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