I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
