YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
