The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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