We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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