I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
