I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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