their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You were trust falling into bushes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
