He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
