sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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