his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
