Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
