yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
