Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How external is "for external use only"?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
