Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
