we're blogging at a bar
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
