I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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