omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
