so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
