well I can't set my house on fire every night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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