Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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