He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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