i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
