Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
