dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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