he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
