just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
