i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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