Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
