omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
