my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
