she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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