i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
