chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
