Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
