The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
