you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
