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Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
