I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You're like the curious george of whores
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
