I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
