I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
