Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Randomize
