I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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