my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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