Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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